‘How do we young couples even think of having a child?’ he asks
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SINGAPORE: A man who graduated from the National University of Singapore took to social media, complaining about the cost of living and how he struggled after getting married.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man wrote: “Feeling frustrated. NUS grad here. Got married about a year ago. I understand why now our birth rate is so low. Singapore is already one of the most stressed countries in the world. Coupled with long working hours (again a country with one of the longest working hours), cost of living etc”.
He added that he also found things to be rather rigid and conventional here.
Work ended at 6 pm for him but he found that if he left at exactly 6 pm, people looked at him differently. He also said that he preferred working from home, or ‘hybrid work’ but now things were going back to working from the office. “Like why can’t we have a breather or some flexibility in this country? Everywhere is rush, everything is serious”, the man added.
“Sch is so competitive and kids as young as 3-4yo are starting with enrichment classes. The cost is insane. How do we young couples even think of having a child? Even a graduate salary (lower tier) for myself and my wife is so hard to sustain. People will say don’t like then migrate. Why shud I? I was born here and so were my parents. It just feels like a top down cultural/traditional mindset that isn’t changing”, he wrote.
One netizen who commented on his post said: “Try and pull down the expectations a little – kids are only expensive if you insist they go (*) instead of (*). Go kids clinic instead of polyclinic. Instead of focusing on WHY your world sucks, focus on HOW you can make your world better. Not saying it’s easy, but sometimes you gotta stop following the system and create your own path. (Started my own biz, because I couldn’t tahan corporate world. Not easy in early years, but now found back my time) As someone wise once told me… “if you can’t find a solution, you aren’t being creative enough.” So stop looking at Facebook and see your Friends post only the “good side” of their lives. Set realistic expectations, don’t have to benchmark against your ex-classmates, live your own life. I wish you happiness”.
Another netizen echoed similar sentiments: “It’s all about perspectives and mindset. Maybe if you care less about how other sees you and focus on your own life, you can also be contented. Happiness doesn’t come with money or power. In everything that you mentioned, it’s all about the choices and how you manage it. For example, if you take back the power you gave to other people in making you feel bad when leaving work on time, which you are entitled to do (regardless of your workload). Heck, even leaving earlier is fine if you have a reason! The important thing is to remain responsible and accountable for your work. Continue work at home after settling down, or choosing not to OT on weekdays but spend a couple hours to clear them on a weekend. All while being able to juggle your personal life as well.As for salary, enrichment classes etc. learning to make do with what you have, good planning and living within your means are critical and you can still be happy! Salary will increase over time for most people. A lot of things in life is never a need, but more of wants”.
* – Names have been removed